Duct Tape & WD-40

Favorite Photo Friday - Home Sweet Home

A very quick post for this Favorite Photo Friday. I'm extremely exhausted from 3 days of moving that is still going on and included a bang (okay that was a bad pun and also in bad taste) today.

We will spend our first night in our new house tonight - boxes are everywhere, mattresses on the floor. But we are here (including Bella) and we are safe (for which I am very grateful). 

More later about the move and the tragic shooting near Cole's school later.

Thank you so much to those of you that called and texted today concerned for our safety. We were never in any danger, but it means so much to me that you thought of us and you care.

Good night from our new Home Sweet Home.

Truly Blessed and Lucky

This is an example of how I am truly blessed and lucky.

Yesterday, I was at the Bloomingdale's Charity Shopping Benefit when Gary called me on my cell phone. We talked for a bit and then I said these exact words:

"Oh gotta go, the saleslady just brought me more shoes." 

And his response...

"Okay. Have fun."

Gotta love a man like that!

Favorite Photo Friday - Looks Like Nothing I'd Wanna Eat

So I thought you might want an update on my new eating plan. THIS is my breakfast. It is kindly called a "veggie smoothie." I take all kinds of green vegetables, like fennel, bok choy, cabbage, spinach and broccoli, and throw in some mint and/or parsley, a handful of strawberries (tops and all), 2 tablespoons ground flax seeds and a scoop of Chia seed. Then I go outside and grab a handful of grass clippings and a small tree branch (just kidding!). I add about a cup of water and try to force my blender to mix it all together. Then I add about a cup of chopped ice, because, let me tell you, the only way you are getting this down is having it cold. Too warm and you think of vomit. I squeeze the juice of one lime into a 32 ounce plastic cup. Then I pour the "smoothie" into the cup. If you are luck, all you taste is a lot of lime.

The fist time I made it, Cole took one look at it and said, "that doesn't look like anything you would want to eat." Truer words were never spoken.

Actually, I've kind of gotten used to drinking this in the morning and now I only mind the time it takes to make it.

I've learned a lot about healthy eating and myself. One thing I learned is that I don't really like vegetables. I thought I did, but I never really ate them that much. Maybe I would have a salad with lots of dressing, or some steamed broccoli that I made for the kids, but that was really it. I was fooling myself. There are lots of different vegetable and tons of ways to prepare them, but frankly, if they don't have cheese, ranch, butter, sugar or bacon grease on them then I am really not interested. I got tired of eating vegetables really quickly.

I also learned that any radical change in diet is a "crash" diet that is doomed to fail. I thought this radical change was okay because it was for my health, not just to lose weight. But when you try to change everything about the way you eat, your body just sits and waits it out. It knows that you will go back to your old ways eventually. It knows so well.

I gave up meat which, for me, was not hard at all. I don't really like meat. It grosses me out - not a problem cutting out the beef and bacon. But if you cut out meat and you don't like vegetables, well that only leaves fruits (sugars) and grains (carbs).

My taste buds are fine with this. My thighs are not.

So right now I am incorporating some of the new with some (okay a lot) of the old.

Although I haven't yet, I will probably start eating chicken and turkey. It is difficult (not impossible) for a person to get enough protein to lose weight without eating meat. For me, it was just too hard getting my protein from edamame and tempah and all sorts of weird Japanese soy protein sources. Perhaps when I lose the weight I have recently gained, I will be able to maintain it as a vegetarian.

One of the last straws of this healthy eating came when I visited a Williams-Sonoma store. I really like to cook and bake. Thanksgiving and Christmas goodies are right around the corner. Is all that stuff off limits to me the rest of my life? I left in a really bad mood. I mean, I was pissed off!

I know. I know. Moderation. But I don't really do moderation that well.

So now, I drink my veggie smoothie in the morning and take two handfuls of vitamins.

I have really cut back on the amount of diet coke that I drink and sometimes only have one can a day (that going from about 80 ounces a day to 12 ounces a day). I try to chose water most of the time.

I think twice when reaching for that carb and sometimes grab a vegetable instead. Really trying to come to a truce in my war with vegetables.

But I've got a long way to go. Like here is my food log for the day.

Veggie Smoothie (Yay! with extra tree bark!)

4 hot Krsipy Kreme doughnuts (did I mention they were HOT off the line??)

1 skinny vanilla latte

1 Halloween cup cake 

1 Midori Martini (free!)

2 more doughnuts on the way home from Bloomingdales where I nearly cried at the size of the clothes that I had to try.

2 forkfuls of eggs left on Luke's plate.

But I drank lots of water and didn't even have 1 diet coke!

Babysteps I say. Babysteps.

Favorite Photo Friday - The Face of The Swine

The Swine (oops, I mean, H1N1 my apologies to pigs) Flu made its second visit to our household this week. This time it was Jack and me. I don't want to make light of what can be a deadly illness, but for us, it was kind of a dud. Fever, headaches and a little upset stomach was what it gave us for almost 5 days. 

One night Jack did manage to scare me when his fever reached 104.5! That was not a happy place to be. He had full doses of ibuprofen and Tylenol and it was still raging. I put him in a tepid bath and he cried because he said it was cold. That fever wouldn't budge. Of course, I am all over the internet Goggling high fever, wanting to know when to push the panic button. Every site I went to said that 104 was very high, but 106 was dangerous and could cause brain damage. Well, we are talking about a degree and a half here people! A degree and a half separates "Oh don't worry, it's just his body's way of fighting off a very nasty bug." and "Call 911, he's going to be a vegetable." Oh yeah, and what if my thermometer is off and it was actually higher?

So, as I often do, I gave the Universe and ultimatum. I said that I would give it one more hour and if that fever did not break, I was taking him to the E.R. Well, this time the Universe backed down and so did his fever.

For the next three days, it hovered around 100 degrees - same for me. Jack acted like he felt fine. He just got to stay in his jammies and watch T.V. all day - same for me. Gary and Karen really stepped in to pick up the slack.

Now I wouldn't wish illness on anyone. But this Swine Flu had a couple of enjoyable side effects. It forced me to slow down. I didn't feel stressed about how much was not getting done, because I physically couldn't do it. Guilt free down time - NICE! Plus there is nothing like not being able to do something that makes me really want to do it. For example, I always want to start a new running program when I have blown out my knee. I was almost annoyed that I couldn't work on de-cluttering my house, preparing for our move. I was just too tired and running a fever, after all.

Second, I had my "baby" back. Jack is becoming so independent, but when he was sick he just wanted Mommy. He snuggled with me and slept with me and watched TV with me in the quarantined  "sick room." It seems like it has been so long since I have been a needed and wanted Mommy. I ate it up.

Jack enjoyed his week of unlimited T.V. and video games, but he started to get bored today. I guess we are both ready to join the living again.

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So I missed Favorite Photo Friday last week. I said that I had a technical difficulty which was not untrue. The problem - I thought I knew what I wanted to write about, but when the time came I just couldn't do it. The post was going to be titled "An Attitude of Gratitude" and it was going to be all about fighting my depression by being thankful and grateful for a day of blessings. I learned this technique many years ago while reading the book Simple Abundance. Oprah recommended it you know! And it really works. It gives you a different perspective on your life.

But Internet, I just couldn't write that post. I can't lie to you Internet (except about my weight. I'll always lie about my weight. And probably my age.... but nothing more. I swear!) I was just in an awful mood and I couldn't muster the "HAPPY! HAPPY! JOY! JOY!" that I needed to have for that post. I was all gloom, doom and everything sucks and my-best-friend-is having-a-great-time-in-Texas-while-I-am-home-taking-care-of-her-kids-and-she-totally-deserves-this-break-with-her-husband-and-I-am-so-glad-that-I-could-help-it-happen-but-I-would-much-rather-be-WITH-her-in-Texas-than-here-with-6-boys-but-just-as-well-that-I-didn't-go-because-I-probably-would-not-have-come-back-and-that-would-be-worser (yes, "worser" is a word in the Hudson household)-because-that-would-mean-that-I-chose-Texas-over-my-current-life-and-oh-yeah-I-hate-Texas.

So I took Thumper's dad's advice "If you can't say (write) anything nice. (sigh) Don't say nothing at all."

Favorite Photo Friday - Delayed

Due to circumstances beyond my control, Favorite Photo Friday must be delayed by one day. Don't be hatin' on me. I'll post it tomorrow for sure.

Favorite Photo Friday - Then and Now

Look at my boys! Jack (left) and Luke (right) at Disney probably when they were about two and three. I thought I would never forget, but I have. I can't remember how they looked when they were this little. I have baby pictures that I can't tell which boy it is. How do you forget these things??

I remember when they were just babies and sometimes, someone would say to me,"it gets a lot harder." And I would think to myself "You just don't remember. You don't remember the smell of the blowout poopy diapers. You don't remember following them around the playground while your friends with older kids sat and talked. You don't remember the crushing feeling on your chest when you realize that you are completely responsible for this little life - 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. You don't remember the severe sleep deprivation."

Now I know that "someone" was right. It gets so much harder. When they are infants and babies, your job is pretty clear cut. Feed them, change them, bathe them, take them to the doctor, make sure they don't die. As long as you did these things, you were doing the right thing. Unless you were completely incompetent, you really couldn't mess it up.

Since my boys are still alive, you can assume that I did a good job in the beginning.

Now that they are older, the rules are not so clear cut. The answer is not so black and white. If you make the wrong decision, you may change the destiny of their entire life. My life is one of constant worry. Am I sending them to the right school? Am I raising a good citizen, husband, father? Should I push them into sports or music? Should I reward good grades? Will they remember that I threatened to tell all their friends that they pooped their pants? (his response, "that would be worser." I cry when I think about it).  Is that what they will be telling their therapist in 20 years?

Throw a special needs child into the mix and you are in a constant state of anxiety.

And all those things you excused when they were babies, like not eating the food you cooked and telling you that they don't like you, really start to irk you when they do it when they are old enough to know better. I didn't sign up for that kind of abuse. I don't like it one bit. Sometimes I feel like I gave up so much for these little creatures and they could not care less. It is the ultimate thankless job. Yet, we are supposed to just smile and love them no matter what. 

But what you really don't know until you get there is that you will feel every success and every loss that your children feel as if it were your very own. It is like there is an invisible umbilical cord that is still attached to their hearts. When they hurt, you hurt. When they celebrate, you celebrate. It multiplies by the number of children that you have. I ride the same roller coaster of emotions that Cole rides. I feel the same frustrations that Luke feels.

I can't believe that I am saying this, but I long for the days when I could strap them into their bouncy seat and they would laugh and laugh. Sure, I was doing a lot of physical work, but I knew where they were and no one was going to hurt them. I was sleep deprived, but I knew that as long as they were fed, they were okay.

Why didn't someone tell me this BEFORE I had children?  They did. I just didn't listen. I thought I would be different. I'm not. "Someone" was right. It gets so much harder.

Favorite Photo Friday - Jack is Growing Up

Look at my baby! He is getting so big. He is in second grade now and so tall. He is losing his baby face and that makes me sad. But I swear, he just gets sweeter every day.

I leave to take Cole to school before the little boys and Gary even get up. So, I wasn't there on picture day to control the amount of hair gel he put in his hair. Apparently his dad wasn't paying too much attention either. But knowing that he did his hair himself in an effort to look handsome for school pictures makes this photo even more endearing.

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New eating lifestyle update: It is quite a change, but it is going okay. I'm feeling good, but have kind of been up and down.

Saturday morning I woke up with only this thought "If I have to eat more vegetables today, I am not even getting up out of bed." and well... I didn't get out of bed. It was about 2:30 p.m. before I could face my daily raw veggie smoothie.

Sunday brought a much deserved glass of wine (okay three but they were small glasses) and I started feeling better again. 

I've been a vegetarian for a week and half now!

Favorite Photo Friday - Luke's Football Poster

Not sure if this counts as a photo, but I am going with it. A few weeks back I went to a Scott Kelby Photoshop Seminar with my friend Anke. He showed us a poster he made for his daughter's soccer team that looked like a poster you would buy of your favorite sport's star. I was thinking how smart and creative Scott Kelby is and how lucky that little girl was to have a dad that can do that when - ding-dong - and idea comes to MY head! Why don't I make one of those for Luke on his football team? DUH?

So I made Luke pose for pictures and used my sick Photoshop skills and VIOLA! my Luke looks like the pro football player that he is going to be one day.

I'm going to have it printed and laminated to hang in his room. I'm also going to take it to games to help cheer him on. Size - 16x20

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I've been doing some (okay, a lot of) whining here lately about how stressful and out of control my life has been lately. Yes, it is still stressful and out of control, however, I have taken back control of something. My eating (and drinking). Last Friday I saw a nutritionist to talk about food. 

Seriously, my relationship with food is so messed up that if I am not on NutriSystem or WeightWatchers or Smart for Life, I have no idea what to eat. I just lose all control and eat tons of sugar and carbs. This leaves me feeling depressed and lethargic and I, of course, gain weight.

I know that sugar increases your seretonin levels in the brain and makes you feel better for a while, but then you crash and need more. It's like a drug. So I was depressed because of my stress and I would eat chocolate and doughnuts and everything else sweet I could get my hands on and that would make me feel better for a few minutes. Then, I would crash and get depressed that I had so much stress and no energy and weight gain, so I would need my next sugar fix to feel better. It was a vicious cycle.

I already knew this, but I didn't know what to do about it. Should I eat a lot of protein and no carbs? Should I just eat fruits and vegetables? Isn't there sugar in fruit? Is that bad sugar? If I just eat fruits and vegetables where would I get my protein? Don't I need lots of protein?

So, first step: 

doctor - just to make sure there is nothing wrong with me and get a starting point ie. glucose level, cholesterol level to measure my success.

next step:

nutritionist - to learn about healthy eating.

She had me start a twelve week program that begins with a 7 day cleanse. This is to help my get rid of all that sugar and alcohol and that stuff that is in Diet Coke. I am in the middle of it right now and I have to say that I am feeling better.

My mood has improved and my energy is better. Now that may be due to the placebo effect of knowing that I am doing something good for my body, but whatever. I'll take it.

I don't think I will forever give up doughnuts and (God forbid!) chocolate. But I must learn to eat them sparingly. I don't feel good when I eat those things. I am learning to eat and make peace with food and my body.

That's why I don't call this a diet. It isn't. I haven't even touched the scale. This is a lifestyle change and it has to work. I can't continue to live the way I was living. I can't have the things I want if I stay in that pattern of self destruction.

I won't talk a whole lot about it on my blog. Who wants to read about what someone is eating unless it is at some fabulous restaurant in London? I'll just give you updates from time to time about how I am doing.

Thanks for you support, Internet. I don't know what I would do without you.

Favorite Photo Friday - This Butt is 60 Years Old!

And what a mighty fine butt it is...

After much pleading with the Universe and Springsteen on Twitter with pathetic tweets like this: 

@Springsteen Florida dates? Please come. My English friends have already seen you twice. Orlando is getting a new arena for you.

10:42 PM Jul 13th from web and this:

@ThrillHillBruce Florida is beautiful in the Fall. You should bring the band.

7:56 PM May 27th from web and this:

@ThrillHillBruce Have I begged you to bring the band to Florida yet today?9:48 PM May 21st from web

I finally got this reply:

@lorihudson Bruce Springsteen & The Legendary E Street Band Add 25 New U.S. Dates For 2009!http://www.brucespringsteen... Florida!

11:15 AM Jul 14th from Tweetie in reply to lorihudson)

Bruce finally brought the band down south to Tampa for his Working On A Dream tour. My friend Allison and I headed down early on Saturday (9/12) to try to get a spot in the pit. Our number came somewhere in the middle and we ended up about six people back from the stage.

They played the Ford Ampitheater at the State Fairgrounds which is an interesting venue. It is outside, but it is covered. It holds a sold out crowd of about 20,000 people. It just doesn't, however, seem that big. Even if we had been in the very back (God forbid!) it would have still seemed pretty intimate.

The weather could not have been much worse. When I heard the venue and the date I thought, "Oh no, Bruce, that's hurricane season." We didn't have that to worry about that, but it was HOT and HUMID. When it wasn't raining, it might as well have been raining. We were jammed together in the pit and let me tell you, it was a sweaty place to be. 

And there was my 60 year old hero on stage playing for almost 3 hours in jeans. I don't know how they did it. They are not even used to this tropical weather from hell.

The concert was fantastic as always. I can't explain what a great show he does. It is like he absolutely loves every minute of every thing he does. He loves his audience. It seems like he honestly doesn't want to end the show. The right audience can get him to just keep coming back for "just one more." You'd think the band would just get fed up and say "you stay out here, we're are tired and going home." But they willingly do whatever he wants them to do.

Can you imagine the magnetism of this man? Close friends and legions of fans that will follow him anywhere simply because he gives so much back in return. He is a superstar that is generally left alone when out in public out of respect from his fans.

This was Allison's first Springsteen concert. Her first Springsteen album was Born in the USA. She knew some of his later work, but was far from a rabid fan. She just heard about his legendary concerts and wanted to check it out. She also MET him once (this is me swooning) when she worked for David Letterman and Bruce was on the show. Actually, this is the only reason I am friends with Allison. Like now there is only two degrees of separation between Bruce and me. OF COURSE I'M KIDDING - mostly.

The next day after the concert I got this text from Allison: I am a believer. Let's find a way to get to the show in Giants Stadium. If I can find a way to sneak out of the house, I am there.

Favorite Photo Friday - Bella

Meet the newest member of our family:

Bella is a 2 1/2 year old chocolate lab that we got in Tallahassee over the weekend. Our friend, Sonya, called and told us about her friend that needed to find a home for her dog. It just happened that we needed to find a dog for our home. So, we were the perfect match.

Bella went to the beach with us then rode home with us Tuesday morning. She is very well trained and loving. If she gets too excited, you can just ignore her and she will settle down.

She gave us a big scare Wednesday evening when she broke away from Cole's hold and ran away. We were very worried because she had a collar, but no tags yet. She wasn't familiar with where she was and couldn't possibly find her way home. None of our neighbors knew we had her, so who would know she was ours?

A very nice lady a couple of streets over found her and brought her inside her home. She gave Bella some water and tended to sore paws. She also put a sign in her window that said "found dog."

This all happened during my birthday party - and get this most amazing part -  my wonderful friends and family insisted on helping and converged on my home. Within minutes we had people on foot, on bicycle and in cars scouring the streets. Instantly, signs were made and posted.

I can't even begin to tell you how much this meant to me. They looked for my dog while I took care of the most important thing, Cole. He blamed himself and was almost inconsolable. I knew that it would break my heart if we never found Bella, but I was truly frightened by what it might do to Cole.

Karen found Bella at this fabulous stranger's house and at the same time Allison and Kelly showed up in Allison's van and Gary rode in on his bicycle. They immediately called me and brought Bella home.

On Thursday, Bella got to meet her new vet, Dr. Goebel. Karen brought her in to have her minor cuts and abrasions she suffered during her Wednesday night ordeal looked at. She is fine and seems only to be a little sore. She is sticking very close to us on walks. I think she is a little traumatized.

While Bella was at the vet, I bought her a new I.D. tag and reflective collar (plus lots of treats and toys).

She is now an official Hudson. Her new tags say so!